Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I want to reinvent myself but how do I reinvent myself?

So, I've so far burnt enough time on Linkedin that I need to take a break. I've been viewing several profiles on there that I wonder how those people achieved what they have achieved? I looked at my profile and I want to do so much more but I really do not know where to start.
I'm on a crossroad of whether to continue on with my military career or retire (yes, I said retire) to venture off another career path after my commitment is done for doing the orthopaedic physician assistant residency program.
Decisions... Decisions.
As I look back in the last 20 years, I know I have accomplished a lot but I know there is so much more that I can do. There are now more variables to take into consideration but I definitely need to figure out what I want to do with my life...
I'm getting a headache. It took me 30 minutes to try to figure out how to get back on this blog since I haven't been here in so long. It's time to start doing great things again and one of them is to continue documenting my thoughts on this blog... allow myself... to reinvent myself... or do I need to?

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Oh, say can you see?... my thoughts on citizenship

After what looks like a two year hiatus, I want to start blogging again. I was watching a documentary on ceremonies across the country of people getting their U.S. citizenship. There are over 1 million people who become U.S. citizens from over 150 countries annually. I've now served the U.S. Army longer (20 years in July 2012) than I lived as a civilian (17 years). I was able to become an officer because of my citizenship. I joined the Army and was naturalized at my first duty station in Puerto Rico. I remember having to study for the test. When I was being asked the questions I was supposed to know, we were being videotaped and since I answered all my questions quickly and correctly, the gentleman asked me three more. I think it was out of jest and I should have declined but I knew I was prepared so I just went ahead and answered the extra ones. They lady next to me in the next cubicle was not as fortunate, however, due to her lack of ability to speak English. The tester had to repeat himself several times in English and the lady could not answer the questions and was mainly speaking in Spanish. Although I had no main goal on why I was interested in getting my citizenship aside from the challenge at the time and seemed like the right thing to do. What is interesting to note is that as the youngest of four children I am the only one that was not a U.S. citizen. My brothers and sister were all born in the U.S. By becoming a citizen did I abandon my Philippine values and Philippine culture? I do not think so and in fact I am very proud of being Filipino. But what am I, really? What do other people see me as? I am not American enough and not Filipino enough in other people's eyes. To the eyes of the Americans I am a foreigner, to the eyes of Filipinos I am a foreigner. The Americans want to know where I am from because I have an accent and the Filipinos assume I am Chinese or any other nationality other than Filipino because I look too white (ano ba 'yan?). This is partly the reason why I wanted to continue know the Filipino dialects of Tagalog and Kapampangan so that I know I am still Filipino. I also have learned to realize that what is important is how I see myself more so than how others see me. What does your citizenship mean to you?