I've missed you.
You've traveled
miles away...
far away from me
only to return
emptihanded.
Why have you
allowed yourself
to be misguided?
Did you not hear me
when I called out your name
in the darkness?
Did you not
see me when I
opened the door
to let you
come home sooner?
Don't leave me
without bringing with you
all the things
that can help you
find me all over again...
so glad you're back.
-written by Amelia at home in solitude, empowered and stronger, ready for the next challenge
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
What's black and white and gray all over? My first week in radiology
I started my radiology rotation this week. I'm glad that I'm doing this rotation this early in the program. I spent about a month doing clinic with two ortho PAs and we've been looking at X-rays, MRI's and CT scans often. I'm OK with reading X-rays but those MRI's and CT Scans, they're all just black and white to me with a little bit of gray in certain places. I'm starting to realize how important it is to know the human anatomy because when they're on radiographs, they're just black and white if you don't know what you're looking at.
As far as feeling stupid, it hit me yesterday the hardest so far in the program. This is good though. It means that I need to push myself a little bit more. There are a lot of smart people in the Army and it feels like they're all in the hospital I'm doing my training at right now.
As far as my hours, yes, I'm still waking up at O dark hundred... about 0300 hours, do 30 minutes of snoozercise (you know, when the alarm goes off and you snooze it and go back to bed and it goes off again after 9 minutes, then do that over and over again), then around 0330 hours I do PT, upper body focus on M/W/F and lower body on Tue/Thu. Then do personal hygiene, drive to work, and park near the hospital (I would have to park further and ride the bus if I don't get there by 0500 hours). I go to my cubicle, check e-mail, do a little bit of research for my protocols on antibiotic beads, female athlete triad, smoking and stress fractures. I also do a little bit of admin because the Army is not the Army without all the required/mandatory training we have to do. Worse is that Joint Commission is coming to town and we have to watch our "p's and q's". Then around 0600 hours, I go to the DFAC (dining facility) to get a cup of coffee. Usually I go back upstairs for the 0630 morning report but now that I'm in my radiology rotation, I usually hang out at the library then either go to a morning radiology lecture or go to the dark "Bone" room where the radiographs are read by the radiologists. Then around 1630 hours (4pm), I drive home to take a 30 minute nap, then go back out to pick up the kids. Sometimes I cook and pack meals for me and the kids and we go to the local park right after I get them so I can wear them out. Then around 1900 hours (7pm), I put them in the bath and get them ready for bed but they tend to want to stay up with their papa. I study aroung 8pm then try to go to bed between 9 and 10 pm and do it all over again. All this and I haven't even started night and evening call yet... or even pulling call... that fun begins in January.
I asked the physician/radiologist today on why he went into radiology rather than all the other specialties. I always wondered this because before coming to this rotation, I would always pass by those radiology rooms and they're always dark and wonder why the radiologist like hanging out doing their work in those dark rooms. He said it interested him back when he was a third year med student. He said he was always a techy and he had a short attention span and did not want to have to follow up the patients. "Once I read the screen for that patient, I'm done." He's a great teacher but I can tell that he's done this for a long time. He scrolls through using that mouse so fast, I can't keep up. I have to periodically stop him to ask my stupid questions... especially those questions where I think there's an abnormality when it's just a normal finding. The first day I was there, it was after lunch and I was getting sleepy. He got up to tell me he'll be right back. He came back saying he had to get something to drink so that he wouldn't fall asleep. Haha!
There are other residents and radiologists in there too and they're pretty smart. They BS in between reading the radiographs. They also have to use these dictaphones so there are like 4 or 5 people talking all at the same time and it takes getting used to in focusing on a topic they're talking about because they're all different based on who you're listening to.
Yesterday one of the residents was talking about "psychometricians". He said the Army is hiring them so that they can tell who's guessing or who knows the answers based on their performance on the test. He said there could be someone who could get the answers right most of the time adn still fail or only get some questions right and still pass depending on which questions they answered right. Interesting.
Well, I'm glad I'm finally updating my blog because I have so much to document. I read my last post and I felt like deleting it because I was so negative that other people really don't care about what I write. I decided not to delete it because that is what I was feeling at the time. Now, I fell like telling everyone what I've been up to because I'm having such a great time.
As far as feeling stupid, it hit me yesterday the hardest so far in the program. This is good though. It means that I need to push myself a little bit more. There are a lot of smart people in the Army and it feels like they're all in the hospital I'm doing my training at right now.
As far as my hours, yes, I'm still waking up at O dark hundred... about 0300 hours, do 30 minutes of snoozercise (you know, when the alarm goes off and you snooze it and go back to bed and it goes off again after 9 minutes, then do that over and over again), then around 0330 hours I do PT, upper body focus on M/W/F and lower body on Tue/Thu. Then do personal hygiene, drive to work, and park near the hospital (I would have to park further and ride the bus if I don't get there by 0500 hours). I go to my cubicle, check e-mail, do a little bit of research for my protocols on antibiotic beads, female athlete triad, smoking and stress fractures. I also do a little bit of admin because the Army is not the Army without all the required/mandatory training we have to do. Worse is that Joint Commission is coming to town and we have to watch our "p's and q's". Then around 0600 hours, I go to the DFAC (dining facility) to get a cup of coffee. Usually I go back upstairs for the 0630 morning report but now that I'm in my radiology rotation, I usually hang out at the library then either go to a morning radiology lecture or go to the dark "Bone" room where the radiographs are read by the radiologists. Then around 1630 hours (4pm), I drive home to take a 30 minute nap, then go back out to pick up the kids. Sometimes I cook and pack meals for me and the kids and we go to the local park right after I get them so I can wear them out. Then around 1900 hours (7pm), I put them in the bath and get them ready for bed but they tend to want to stay up with their papa. I study aroung 8pm then try to go to bed between 9 and 10 pm and do it all over again. All this and I haven't even started night and evening call yet... or even pulling call... that fun begins in January.
I asked the physician/radiologist today on why he went into radiology rather than all the other specialties. I always wondered this because before coming to this rotation, I would always pass by those radiology rooms and they're always dark and wonder why the radiologist like hanging out doing their work in those dark rooms. He said it interested him back when he was a third year med student. He said he was always a techy and he had a short attention span and did not want to have to follow up the patients. "Once I read the screen for that patient, I'm done." He's a great teacher but I can tell that he's done this for a long time. He scrolls through using that mouse so fast, I can't keep up. I have to periodically stop him to ask my stupid questions... especially those questions where I think there's an abnormality when it's just a normal finding. The first day I was there, it was after lunch and I was getting sleepy. He got up to tell me he'll be right back. He came back saying he had to get something to drink so that he wouldn't fall asleep. Haha!
There are other residents and radiologists in there too and they're pretty smart. They BS in between reading the radiographs. They also have to use these dictaphones so there are like 4 or 5 people talking all at the same time and it takes getting used to in focusing on a topic they're talking about because they're all different based on who you're listening to.
Yesterday one of the residents was talking about "psychometricians". He said the Army is hiring them so that they can tell who's guessing or who knows the answers based on their performance on the test. He said there could be someone who could get the answers right most of the time adn still fail or only get some questions right and still pass depending on which questions they answered right. Interesting.
Well, I'm glad I'm finally updating my blog because I have so much to document. I read my last post and I felt like deleting it because I was so negative that other people really don't care about what I write. I decided not to delete it because that is what I was feeling at the time. Now, I fell like telling everyone what I've been up to because I'm having such a great time.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Next Challenge Please
We're driving to out next duty station today. I wanted to mark this moment because it is the next transition to my next challenge which is to attend the DSc (Doctor of Science) in Orthopedics for Physician Assistants. I also wanted to reflect back to my previous accomplishments and I am in awe of myself on what I have accomplished. "It's not bragging if you've really done it". However, people may wonder why I subject myself to these grueling endeavors. I also wonder at that myself. The closest I know of explaining this is that I love to be challenged and the greatest challenge is to challenge myself. I do not do it to impress other people. In fact, I've learned that it is better not to let people know what I'm doing because there are actually people out there who don't want other people to succeed. I've learned that it's better for me to let people know what I've done rather than what I'm doing. So, then, why am I writing this on a public blog you may ask. Well, I've learned that not many people really care what I'm up to, this blog is mostly for me to document and read my reflections, my struggles and my experiences. I have so many plans for the future and it's fun to read my previous blogs to reexperience those moments. So, now that we're enroute to the next challenge, I will be in the process of doing yet another "to-do" list and my usual short/mid/long-term plans... to be continued.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Done with my PhD... now what?
So, here I am with actually time to do something aside from school work. I finally finished my doctorate and I've decided to write something on my blog just for old times sake. I will be attending the Orthopedic Physician Assistant program in Fort Sam Houston, TX around June and I have all this time to get ready by studying anatomy and physiology. I need to buckle down again and actually start doing this. Right now, I've mostly been spending my time on Facebook and doing a family tree for my dad's side of the family. My mom's family already has one. I opened an account on ancestry.com and have been updating periodically. I cannot believe how many unknown relatives I have. Part of me is motivated by the fact that I hardly saw many of my cousins growing up and I hope my children will not experience the same thing. I feel kind of tired right now... like a start of a viral infection. I will stop here and drink fluids... I will think of something better to write next time.
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